Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Organizing Your Life

 

      Okay  I know what you are all probably thinking right now after reading the title of this post, Matt what do you mean Organize my life? Well there are many ways to talk about this, But Today i am going to just cover a few of the techniques and things that i use to keep my life organized as well as to help keep some of the chaos at bay. So lets jump into some of the techniques i use to help stay organized shall we! 

    The First big thing that i do is creating a Monthly Budget. I have been doing this for almost 6 years now and let me tell you it is very helpful. I keep this Budget list on my phone so i can always make changes as needed, even on the go if necessary. I basically plan out all of my Known expenses for the month for example Rent, Cell phone bill or my electric bill. By making this list i ensure that i have my check planned out appropriately so that i can make sure i always have the Must Haves paid before i spend any money on the Want's. Also ensuring that i am not over-drafting my back account by being caught off guard by any unpaid bills. It is something easy that takes little time to do but helps keep me organized in a major way.

     The Second helpful thing i do is make a Daily to-do list. Every evening before i go to bed i sit down to create my list for the following day, i plan everything whether it be small or big really just anything that i know i need to get done that day. Now i have my To-do list divided into Two separate categories, Must-do & Want to. The reason i have it set up this way is so that i know i get the immediate important things done but then if i still have extra time in my day i can get some other things done that are less pressing but still need to be done. This not only helps me accomplish a ton, be organized but also is just a part of my routine helps me keep my stress levels down and keep my anxiety under control.

     Another very big thing that can help you get or stay organized is Time Management & keeping a planner/Schedule. Personally for me this has been such a life saver and a stress reducer especially these past few years as my life has gotten more hectic. I have a Daily planner that i write in too keep track of my Appointments, Meetings, family events and such, i then plan my days around those things as too not forget the important engagements first and foremost. Generally my days consist of the same things so i have developed a very unique and helpful routine that works for me. What i suggest is getting a planner to keep track of things, also get set into a routine which helps you know exactly what you have to get done daily and how much time you have for it. but leave some wiggle room so that if you need to extent an appointment or activity you can. 

    The final Tip i will share with y'all is  Asking for help/Outsourcing. Now for me this one took awhile to get used to, as i am not one to always ask for help even though i may need it, but it is something that i am currently working on. So what i mean by this is simply if you need help with completing a task, or working on something you are not too comfortable with reach out for help it will greatly help your stress level because you will gain knowledge as well as things will get done right and efficiently. There is no shame in asking for a little help with things in your life. 

    Well i hope that some of these things help some of you, get and stay more organized in your lives, in turn helping relieve some of the stress that daily life may bring.  If there is anything i did not mention that you use in your lives feel free to drop a comment below because i would love to hear from all of you what helps keep you organized. If you like this post let me know and i can for sure do some more like this in the future, or if you have something you want to hear about drop the suggestion in the comments. Thanks for stopping by today and giving this a read, have a great day!

   -Matthew-


Positive Relations Media Socials
Instagram- @positiverelationsmedia
Twitter- @PRelationsMedia
Website & Blog- https://www.positiverelationsmedia.com

Matt's Social Media
Instagram- @theeadventuresofmatt
Twitter- @Adventuresofmat

 

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

My Money Saving Tips & Tricks

 

      Hey Everyone Welcome back to the blog. So recently i took to Twitter and asked all of my awesome followers to vote on a few topics that they would want to read about more on my blog, The Two Topics that i put up for a vote were My Money Saving Tips & Tricks or Another Guest Written Post. Well as you can probably tell by the title Money saving tips and tricks got the most votes. So today i am going to share just a few things that i personally do that help me save money every month. If you like this post let me know and i would be more than happy to share more things like this with all of you! 

    The First Tip i will share is a very simple one and that is Meal Planning & Meal Prep. Now part of this also includes a little bite of knowledge, well a mistake we all make sometimes and that is to never go to the store hungry. You will always buy way more than you need. For me personally i plan my Meals on a weekly basis. I plan lunch as well as dinners because i rarely eat breakfast these days. After ive planned my meals i then create my shopping list and check for coupons or items on sale, my local Grocery Store usually has weekly as well as monthly deals. This allows you to get your list and then get out ensuring that you dont spend more than you need too.

      Tip #2 Unplug all electronics when not in use. Now i know some of you are asking Matt what difference does this make. Well a bigger difference than you would think actually. Even if you are not using these thing when they are plugged in they are still pulling small amounts of electricity. I will say that you wont see an immediate difference but if you do it for long enough you will. For example in my home i started doing this and after 3 months i slowly started to see my Bill go down a few dollars at a time. After doing this for almost 5 years i am saving just about $25 dollars a month on my electric bill. Its a small savings but in this day and age you save when and where you can. So try it and see for yourselves. 

     The Third Tip i have for you is If you Can Borrow dont buy! I am so guilty of this over the years, i bought a brand new chain saw to clean up some property that i was living on, moved a few months later and sold the chain saw. Now i could have just asked my sister to borrow hers and saved that money. Because in the end when i re-sold my chainsaw i couldn't get anywhere near what i paid for it back, in fact i had to sell it for $100 less. I was not thinking long-term finances, really it came down to me just being very inpatient as well as impulsive. This is just one of many examples of practical purchases that can be avoided. The Same goes for buying books or audio books. Check your local libraries because more often times than not they have what you are looking for and you can read it as many times as you want without having to buy it. 

     The Fourth and final tip that i will share with you is Ditch Your Cable. I myself was paying almost $135 for my cable bill which was the cheapest package and that didn't even include internet fees. I ended up buying a Amazon Fire Stick Which was a one time $16 dollar fee, then i now subscribe to Hulu + Live TV Which costs $50 and then Netflix which i split with my Sister bringing my total to $55 Dollars a month. Also the other big thing with this is that if i decided to down grade my Hulu package or cancel the subscription it literally costs me Nothing! If you were to try and cancel your Cable subscription before your agreed contract is up they would generally charge you a hefty fee for doing so. 

    Well i hope that you all enjoyed my Top Tips and Tricks for saving money and cutting costs. Now keep in mind these are just things that i have found that work for me, i have several more tips that i can share with all of you, so if you like this post drop me a comment to let me know what you think and if you would like to hear more of my tips that i use. But i want to hear from all of you, what are some things you use to save money?? Drop your tips in the comments below. Thanks for taking the time to read this and have a wonderful week. 

 

    -Matthew-

My Social Media

Twitter- @Adventuresofmat

Instagram- @theeadventuresofmatt

Positive Relations Media Blog/Website- https://www.positiverelationsmedia.com

 

       

         

            

Wednesday, October 21, 2020

Men & Body Image

 


 
              
     In Today's Society we see a lot about body image and body positivity! But more times than not it's stories from the female perspective. I want to change that narrative and bring to light that Men suffer from this same issue, but you just do not hear about it very often. Now some of you may be asking yourselves what makes him so qualified to talk about this? Well the simple answer is that i myself really struggle with my body image, accepting myself and having enough courage to stand up for myself in this world where we as men are told that it is not acceptable to struggle publicly or feel a certain way. 

    In the past on my blog i have spoken about Men and Mental Health but for me this is a very much deeper issue in itself. For me personally it has to do with my Self-Esteem, Self-Confidence as well as how i believe the world views me. For Example Diet Culture as well as Doctors in today society lead us to believe that according to our height there is a certain BMI or Body Mass Index that we should fall into and if we do not we are considered to be Overweight and unhealthy. I am here to tell you that this is indeed false. 

    I know that i am not the only man who struggles with this issue so i set out to do some research i found a great article From Metro UK i will leave the link at the end of the post if you are wanting to read the full article for yourselves. It was titled "Men Get Honest About Struggling With Their Body Image." It has stories from 5 or 6 Men most of them stating that their body image issues stem from Being Bullied about their weight as well as the body type that society Idealizes what "A real man should look like" Toned, Flat Stomach and big Muscles. 

    I  personally believe that many of us men have this insecurity but because of the fact that these body issues are not really something that is really ever openly talked about by Men it makes it really easy for us to feel very alone in our Insecurities. It seems to be a silent issue rarely spoken about but when in fact it can be just as damaging but is just never noticed. I know that for me i am constantly being told well if you would just lose a little weight or if you make this certain change you would be much happier with yourself and the way you look. 

    Unfortunately it is just not that simple, if it were things would have changed years ago. I have struggled with my weight as well as self-confidence since i was a little kid, always bullied and made fun of so much to the point where i eventually just started to believe all of the nasty things that were constantly being said to me. I have recently started opening up about this issue more and more on my Instagram Page, but i felt like more need to be said. I Firmly believe that if more Men start to open up and share their stories we can change this negative narrative. 

    As long as we as Men continue to speak up others will see our example and realize that it is okay and there are so many other Strong Men like them struggling. We need to continually create an environment that fosters understanding and help each other through our rough times, to prove no one is alone in their struggles or on their Journey's. I know that we are all on different parts of our Journey but the more support you have the better. Never be afraid to read out to me. If you take the time to look their are so many more accounts like mine for you too connect with.

    Now with all of this being said i am by no means an expert of professional in this subject i am just a Man that wants to help others and create a platform to reduce the stigma around Men and Mental Health. I want to hear from all of you do you struggle with your Body image or Self Confidence? Because i believe all of us do in some for or another. I want to hear your stories feel free to comment below. Thanks for taking the time to read this, i will leave my socials below for anyone who wants to reach out and chat. Take care of yourselves and remember YOU are NEVER alone. 
 
    -Matthew-
 
Article on Men and Body  Image 
 https://metro.co.uk/2018/01/25/men-get-honest-about-struggling-with-their-body-image-7259438
 
Matt's Socials
Instagram- @theeadventuresofmatt
Twitter- @Adventuresofmat
Positive Relations Media Website-  https://www.positiverelationsmedia.com
 

Thursday, October 1, 2020

Discussing Men's Mental Health - Guest Writter Joseph Bowden

    Be honest, how often do you hear men talk about their emotions? I respect society has never been more embracing when it comes to accepting people for who they are but there’s still a dark cloud over men who speak up.

    My journey started when I lost my grandmother, followed by redundancy and a load of unwanted debt. I always saw the bigger picture even though I had nothing to look forward too. As much as I struggled with life, I continued to pray for God to guide me towards a more prosperous and rewarding path in hopes to erase my errors from the past. 

    The old saying is everything happens for a reason. I accepted my life for what it was and forgave myself for every mistake I made that led me towards suicidal thoughts. Do I quit or grow? Thankfully I chose the latter. I started my blog (www.concealedvoices.com) in an attempt to reach out to other men who might have been in my shoes and shared similar thoughts of depression, anxiety and guilt.

     It was a huge step for me because as an introvert I find social interaction difficult. However, my experience thus far is easily one of the best decisions I ever made. I have a reason to want to wake up and a purpose to live. A privilege for every person walking this earth should be entitled to. But are my words any closer to helping men, and if so, where are they? 

    I ask this question because finding men who openly talk about their Mental Health is rare even if society tries to encourage us to do it. It’s common to read other genders talk about their issues. Yet I don’t see the same support network with men. I mentioned the topic to my male friends and although they were open with their emotions, it also struck me they wanted to quickly change the subject after only a few minutes of discussion.

     It’s obvious men still aren’t comfortable admitting their emotions. I don’t know if a systematic change will ever happen in my lifetime but any man admitting a sign of doubt, such as depression, doesn’t make him any less of a man and shouldn’t be tagged as weak. In fact, it’s the opposite. It makes him a warrior. It takes courage to admit our struggles in the face of adversity. Instead of kicking a man when he's down, why not offer a hand and help a brother out?

    I read a report about testosterone levels decreasing due to the average man's lifestyle in the 21st century. It didn’t take long before reading ignorant comments from keyboard warriors mocking men who aren’t heterosexual for being the cause of the decline. It’s morons like these who ignite hate through intimidation that make it difficult for men to speak up about their feelings. In their eyes if you’re not a stereotypical male, who likes beer, slaps his woman or watches sports 24/7, then you’re against them. 

    Have they ever thought that maybe a real man is someone who isn’t scared to walk on his own path? Of course not. They’re too busy following each other like sheep and mocking anyone who acts differently to them. Don’t let these fools tag you as weak because you are expressing how you feel to others. Every man needs another shoulder to lean on. 

    No man should fight alone against his struggles. This might be the sad contributing factor to the rising numbers of men committing suicide every year. They feel trapped, suppressed and left with no other choice but to give up. Yet deep down all they probably wanted was someone to be by their side; to comfort, support and erase the dark clouds shadowing their every footstep. I struggle to find a conclusion with every post I write. I’m raw with my emotions and write what comes to the heart. 

    The question we should be asking is where do we go from here? How do we help more men open up, and even save potential lives? One word; education. It starts with the curriculum system. We need to teach boys to be honest with their emotions to their parents, teachers and elders without being judged. As boys grow into teenagers, where the state of our Mental Health evolves due to biological changes to our psychological behavior, they should hopefully be in an environment where expressing their emotions is the new normal. 

    While there has never been more support now than in the past, we still have many barriers to break until the stigma is wiped out altogether. Some of us might never want to speak to someone. We have to respect everyone’s freedom of choice. I get that. Nevertheless, we should encourage conversations. I removed a huge weight off my back when I confessed my anxiety issues. There are people who do love and care for you. You might not realize how much they do until you open up and ask for help.

 

    - Joseph Bowden -

Where you can find Me:

Twitter- @concealedvoices

My Blog-  www.concealedvoices.com

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, What Is It?




     Hey Readers Welcome Back! Thanks for taking some time out of your day to check out this post! Today i wanted to talk about something that has been very helpful as well as beneficial to me in my Mental Health Journey and that is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. It has been a saving grace in some very uncertain times in my life, especially when my Anxiety as well as BPD are at their worst. I'm going to share the definition as well as a few of the strategies i find most helpful, So lets Jump on into this great topic.

     So Let's Start with the definition, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a Psycho-Social Intervention that aims to improve Mental Health, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Focuses on Challenging and Changing unhelpful Cognitive Distortions as well as behaviors, Improving emotional regulation, and the Development of Personal coping strategies that target solving the current problems at hand.

     So the First Technique that i want to share is called Cognitive Restructuring or Reframing. What this means is really taking a deep hard look at Negative Thought Patterns. For Example if you are anything like me You may tend to really Over-generalize situations or thoughts, maybe you are even always assuming that the worst thing that can happen is going to happen, or a big one for me tending to place far too much importance on the minor details of things. This process helps you to identify your negative thought patterns and once you are aware of them you can slowly then learn how to change them to be more positive and productive thoughts.

     The Second Technique is called Journaling and Thought Records. Now many of you maybe saying to yourselves that this is silly as many people including myself have been journaling forever so whats different? Well let me tell you. So the thing with this is you need to try to Journal all of the negative thoughts that are occurring, and then list the positive turn around thoughts that you can use instead of those negative ones. Another great thing that you can do is to write down all of the new thoughts as well as actions that you have been putting into practice so that you can not only see what works, but also to reminder yourself and have physical proof of the great changes that you are makings or implementing.

     Now those are just 2 out of the 10 strategies that i have learned, i just wanted to share with you the top 2 that i myself tend to utilize the most these days. Keep in mind i am in no way shape or form a Medical Expert or Psychologist these are all just my experiences, opinions and things that i have gotten from actual therapy sessions of my own. Have you ever been through CBT? If so i would love to know your experiences with it. let me know if you all liked this posts and i will be more than happy to share some more about this amazing topic. So Until the next time please be safe and be kind to one another.

     -Matthew-

Positive Relations Media Socials
Instagram- @positiverelationsmedia
Twitter- @PRelationsMedia
Website & Blog- https://www.positiverelationsmedia.com

Matt's Social Media
Instagram- @theeadventuresofmatt
Twitter- @Adventuresofmat

Wednesday, September 2, 2020

Setting Boundaries in Life


     Hey Everyone welcome back to my blog, So today i really wanted to talk about a topic that i myself tend to struggle with and as someone with Bpd (Borderline Personality Disorder) i find hard to do sometimes, as you can probably tell by the title that is setting Healthy Boundaries as well as being able to say no.
    
     I really want to start of by just giving you all the standard definition of what a Personal boundary is to give us a base to start from. So a personal boundaries are guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, Safe, and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone crosses those limits.

     I felt that it was important to give the definition because i mean really everyone knows what boundaries are but its not something we all think about every day of our lives, like are my boundaries clear to others? What is my appropriate response going to be if someone crosses my boundaries? Those may not be things you think about but we should, now i know personally for me i have not been clear on mine and a recent situation in my life has made me realize that i need to sit down and re-evaluate mine,

     One part of this is also being able to say NO! I think that some of us myself included think that if we tell someone NO that we are letting them down or we are afraid to make them mad, But when in reality it is just us setting a clear boundary stopping and saying hey im not comfortable with this or doing this specific task. There is no shame in putting ourselves first to preserve our Mental Health and well-being.

     I know that for me i love helping other people, i have a huge heart and sometimes it gets the best of me because i give, give, give and put myself last because i am afraid that something bad will happen if i say no or that person will hate me forever. Which in the end leads to a Mental Health breakdown because i neglect my own needs and well-being. That is what happened to me recently, so it got me thinking and re-evaluating my personal boundaries with others.

     I realized that i need to be more clear on what i am as well as am not willing to do for others because i am beginning to notice a cycle of Burnout as well as increased Mental Health Related mood issues. I Have decided to not help others with any of their issues unless i have looked after myself first, also i have made a journal to write in so that when i do have to say no to someone and it is bothering me i can get those feelings out so as to not internalize them which creates part of the problem.

     I know that with my Bpd it tends to make me feel things way more intensely and not rationalize things even though they may seem super clear cut or easy. So i think that by writing down those feelings or worries stemming from saying no i can then go back to read them as a reminder that i am overthinking things as well as that just a reminder nothing bad happened from saying NO so it is okay to continue reinforcing that boundary so that i can move forward and prevent a major mental lapse.

    Another thing that i needed to fix was saying how i am really feeling instead of going with the flow because if i do not stand up for myself, and how far i am willing to go then what good are boundaries? Over the years i have noticed that i will just hold my feelings or opinions in because i was afraid of upsetting the other person or fearing that if i told them we have different thoughts then they would no longer like me and therefore abandon me.

     Fear of abandonment is real for me its something i struggle with a lot but my recent situation has made me realize that in order to truly be happy, live with less stress and have people that truly care about me for the right reasons that i need to start being more vocal about how i feel about things, therefore setting a boundary about how and what i am willing to put myself through because stress is not a good thing to have too much of as we all know. By Being honest about what i am really thinking will help me weed out the toxic people in my life setting that boundary.

     So i hope that this post got you all thinking about your boundaries, how clear are yours? Do you have appropriate responses for when people cross your boundary line? Let me know in the comments your thoughts as i would love to hear from all of you. If you have anything you want to see me write about or go in to more detail with please leave a comment and let me know, i appreciate all of you taking the time to read this and i hope that you have a great day! As always be kind to one another.


-Matthew-

My Social Media
Twitter- @Adventuresofmat
Instagram- @theeadventuresofmatt
 
Positive Relations Media
Website/Blog - https://www.positiverelationsmedia.com
Instagram- @positiverelationsmedia
Twitter- @PRelationsMedia

Wednesday, August 19, 2020

Why I Started Blogging

    Hey Y'all welcome back to the blog, Today i am going to answer an age old question that i get asked all the time and that is why did i start blogging! Now i know that everyone will always have different answers, reasons or motivations for writing and i will be the first to admit that i am far from the best writer or even having the best grammar skills but that is not what my blog is about it is about getting information and my feelings out there to make the rest of the world more aware of Mental Health and working to break the stigma to make it normal to get help and talk about Mental Health everywhere. 

    I guess the best place to start would be the beginning right? So i have suffered from Mental Health most of my life, getting treatment in one form or another and even being put into Residential Treatment Facilities. Now in those kind of places and even therapy groups it is normal to speak about all of your problems and what is really bothering you, but to me it seemed like once we stepped foot out of those spaces back into society it instantly became frowned upon to talk about anything Mental Health Related and if we did we were looked at as crazy or dangerous, Now i think a lot of that is due to people just truly not understanding how illness affect us or work, they fear what they dont understand. Another reason being honestly is the way Mental Illness is portrayed by the Media because it is never reported accurately or even truthfully. 

    Now lets be honest i never saw myself starting a blog or even my YouTube Channel for that matter, i actually started out doing public speaking engagements and Volunteering at a few Residential Treatment Homes, but after awhile i realized that not only could i reach a wider audience by blogging but i could also fight to break both of the stigmas The General Mental Health Stigmas as well as the barrier of Men and Mental Health because lets be honest here there is a certain stigma around Men Speaking out because we are all always taught that we need to tough it out, Real Men dont cry and all  that other Garbage  we are fed But i am here to tell you from experience it does you not one bit of good to hold anything in, i did it for years and it almost ruined my life.
 
    In my personal experience i have found that i am able to articulate as well as convey exactly how i am truly feeling more in depth by writing so that is why i felt a blog would be an excellent choice for me. Then came the Social Media aspect of things, because until about a year ago i did not know there was such a great Mental Health Community on Social Media it has become not only a way for me to promote my blogs and YouTube Videos but also just reach out and be there for people to talk to as well as provide some uplifting content around the world. I Figured out that when i used all three of these together i am able to reach more people and make more friends. I will be the first to admit that i struggle and i am not perfect but i will still do my best to help others even if it is just by sharing my own story. I dont care about the amount of views or even subscribers that i have it is more about me just getting my content out there to as many people as possible in hopes that my words or videos can give someone hope or a light at the end of the tunnel. Let me tell you when i get messages about how my Content has helped someone in their life it amazes me because its like what i did that no way. So if my stuff is seen by 2 people or 2 Million people it makes no difference i am still going to pour my heart and soul into all of it. 

    Well Guys and Gals i hope that is made sense to all of you, i really just wanted to share why i started blogging since i really get asked about it a lot. I know that it may not be the most glorious or inspiring story you have ever heard or read but it is not meant to be, it is the truth and thus is my journey. like i said at the beginning i am not the best at writing but i do my best. But i want to hear from all of you my fellow bloggers and readers if you have a project or blog what made you want to start it, tell me what inspires you! Leave me a comment i would love to hear from all of you, i love reading all of your comments. Also if you ever have any suggestions for blog topics or YouTube videos let me know and i will try to see if i can do them. I will leave my social media linked below i am always available to talk so never be afraid to stop by and say hello. SO Until the next time stay safe and take care of yourselves.

         -Matthew-

Social Media
Twitter- @Adventuresofmat
Instagram- @theeadventuresofmatt

Organizing Your Life

         Okay  I know what you are all probably thinking right now after reading the title of this post, Matt what do you mean Organize my l...